The Ultimate Guide To Healing From Grief
Grief is a journey like no other, which touches the deepest parts of who we are. If you've experienced grief, you're likely familiar with the intense emotional rollercoaster it brings into your life. This grieving and loss process can be deeply painful, often accompanied by a variety of reactions you may not have anticipated.
So how do you deal with grief and loss? In this ultimate guide to healing from grief, we look at the different types of grief, explore the stages of grief healing, and learn more about how to heal from grief and loss. Whatever the roots of your grief, this guide offers wisdom, practical tools, and gentle encouragement to help you find healing.
What is grief?
Grief is the deep emotional pain we feel in response to losing someone or something significant in our lives. It often arises after losing a loved one but can also occur in response to other types of loss, such as the end of a relationship, loss of a job, or after traumatic events.
Grief is one of the hardest things we face as humans. Whether it’s the loss of someone we love or the end of something meaningful, it can feel overwhelming and confusing, leaving us unsure of how to move forward.
Types of grief:
Grief manifests differently in each person, depending on their circumstances. Certain types of losses are considered particularly challenging, such as the death of a child, partner, parent, or sibling. A death that is particularly sudden or shocking can make it much harder when it comes to how to heal grief. Here are the main types of grief that people experience:
Anticipatory grief
When someone is expecting a loss, such as a loved one facing a terminal illness, they may experience anticipatory grief. This type of grief allows a person to emotionally prepare for the loss and have time to say goodbye, but it can also prolong the eventual pain and sadness that is felt when a loved one passes. This type of grief differs from other types because it begins before the loss has happened.
Disenfranchised grief
This form of grief is very personal to the individual and is unique because it usually isn’t acknowledged or validated by those around them. When a person experiences a loss that others don’t see as significant, it can make it hard for them to express their pain or receive the support they need. Examples of this type of grief include the loss of an ex-partner, the loss of a pet, and miscarriage or infertility.
Complicated grief
Complicated grief stands out from other types of grief due to its intensity, duration, and the way it disrupts daily life. When intense feelings of grief are prolonged and don’t improve over a significant amount of time, it makes it hard to know how to heal grief and loss. This can begin to interfere with daily life, as a person finds themselves in a state of numbness, denial, and unable to cope with the reality of the loss.
Symptoms of grief
The symptoms of grief can vary widely, depending on the individual and the nature of the loss. It can manifest in various ways, affecting an individual’s behavior and emotional, physical, and mental health. It can be intensely painful because it affects us on so many levels.
From an emotional perspective, it can bring intense sadness, anger, guilt, and anxiety, often leaving them feeling numb or detached from life. This can lead a person to withdraw socially, or even seek comfort in ways that are not healthy.
Physically, grief can affect the body just as much as the mind. It may cause fatigue, changes to appetite, sleep disturbances, and even physical pain. Mentally, grief can cause issues with concentration, forgetfulness, and intrusive thoughts about the loss. Recognizing these symptoms is important for understanding and navigating the grieving process.
The grieving process
There’s no set timeline for how long each person’s grief process lasts, but understanding more about what you are going through can help you navigate your emotions. Here, we explore the grieving process and its common stages:
Stage 1: Shock
At first, many people find themselves experiencing shock and disbelief. You may feel completely numb and emotionless. This is a common defense mechanism that is designed to prevent you from feeling the pain you are going through. During this stage, it is difficult to begin grieving because it feels as though the loss hasn’t happened.
Stage 2: Denial
Sometimes it feels easier to push thoughts of the person who has died away and pretend not to feel sad. Grief is never a sign of weakness; meeting your grief exactly where it is, when you’re ready to do that, is always the healthiest way to move through it.
Stage 3: Anger
In your search for answers, you may feel angry towards other people involved, or even towards the person who has passed. Acknowledging and sharing your feelings in a safe space will help you to process these emotions.
Stage 4: Bargaining
Many people begin to experience a kind of false hope, where they truly believe there may be a chance for their loved ones to come back to them. Give yourself time here for the reality of what has happened to sink in.
Stage 5: Depression
The reality of loss can sometimes lead to depression. This is the hardest stage of grief so if you’re struggling with how to heal from complicated grief, always seek the help of a professional who can support you.
Stage 6: Hope
As you adjust to the loss, you may begin to feel a sense of hope, or like life feels a little lighter than it did. Whilst life will look different, you will begin to feel a renewed strength when it comes to life in general.
Stage 7: Processing Grief
In time, life begins to feel less painful. You will learn to live a ‘new normal’ every day, and understand that life needs to move on. This stage allows you to begin to move forward.
Who can help you deal with grief?
When you’re coping with grief and loss it’s easy to feel alone, but there are many resources and people around you who can support you. If addressing your grief feels overwhelming, then reaching out can be the first step towards healing.
Reaching out to friends and family members for support can provide you with a listening ear. Professional help, such as counselors, social workers, and psychotherapists can all provide structured support and help with grieving. Joining a support group, online or in-person, will help you connect with others who are going through the same thing.
Faith groups and spiritual coaches can provide invaluable support in moving on from grief, helping individuals navigate their emotions and find healthy ways to deal with grief.
What physical steps can you take to overcome your grief?
Knowing how to heal from grief is a complex emotional process, but some practical steps can be taken to support yourself both emotionally and physically and help the healing process.
Establishing a daily routine that will give structure and stability can be helpful during this turbulent time. This helps to ensure you are eating regularly, exercising, and getting enough sleep, all of which will support you. Reviewing your diet, hydration levels, and exercise will help to maintain energy levels and elevate your mood.
Everyone mourns differently but journalling can be one of the best practical ways of coping with grief. Writing will help you to process complex emotions and gain clarity. It can also provide a private space to store memories, which over time can bring comfort.
You may feel like hiding away but reaching out to others can provide emotional support. It can be comforting to talk about loss with others, which can help you to feel less alone, and provide a positive distraction.
Accepting support is vital during the grieving process. Be open to different ways that people offer help, whether through listening, providing practical assistance, or simply spending time with you. Sometimes, a person may need to seek support from a professional, who can provide specialized guidance and grief healing techniques.
Different grief therapy techniques can help with processing loss, especially when healing from grief and trauma. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a form of therapy that helps identify negative thought patterns and develop more positive behaviors. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is another therapy that uses mindfulness to help people accept their thoughts and feelings so that they can move forward.
How Spiritual Teachings Can Help You To Overcome Grief
Grieving is a personal journey that varies for everyone. There is no correct way to grieve and it’s ok to experience a range of different feelings. It’s important to acknowledge your emotions and give yourself the space to heal at your own pace.
Remember that you don’t have to navigate this path alone. Accepting help and building a support system will help you during this challenging time.
Prioritizing your physical and emotional well-being will help to support your healing. Making sure that you’re eating regular, nutritious meals, staying hydrated, and moving your body will have a significant impact on your overall well-being.
For more tips and guidance on dealing with grief, check out my other blogs and tune into my podcast, Practical Spirituality. Together, we can explore the depths of spirituality and find light even in the darkest of times.
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